Wrong Timing

Things are just perfect when the time is right. Sometimes you want sth so much that when it comes, you're not sure about whether it is right or not, whether it is good or not. I wanted to run away from this country so badly that I applied to several scholarships and courses. You see, I got to focus. I am tired of complaining about things when I know what the problem is. Focusing is my problem. I just can't do that. So after having received this scholarship my mother asked me a question which I was not able to answer. She asked me if the course would improve my career. Just like that. A simple question. Honestly, I wasn't sure but I just nodded. I made a huge effort to make my decision without being influenced by other people, think what I really wanted and guess what? I decided not to go. You may think that I am crazy but for the first time I am really sure about my decision. What I want to do, what I am looking for, I will not learn at school. I will learn with people and running away on the pretext of studying, woudn't sort out my problem. It would just postpone it. The sooner I face it, the better.